It was a Sunday morning.The time was around eleven.I was as always a pampered one so no one dares to wake me up except my lovable maid who puts off the fan and switches off the air conditioner.She is too dedicated even if I tell her clean my room tomorrow, she is like five,ten minutes only. She is one who tortures me in the mornings. The same conversation and I lost to her as always.I tried to open my eyes ,Ram and Guru visualized. Reality was so hard to me. I just felt like getting lost from this damn world. My phone was buzzing in the vibration mode.I just searched my phone with half-opened eyes and found ‘Guru’ calling. I left it to ring, I was not ready to take it any more I tried to sleep again and mom barged in. She was like Guru has come. He is waiting.
Before I could sense, Guru was now on my bedroom door. Mom got really pissed off. Though she could nt show him much she asked ‘Coffee’ and took him to the living room. I was with my lousy pyjamas.I rushed to the restroom to refresh and change. Guru was teary-eyed. He was not the happy go guy I used to see him. I asked him ‘Hang-over’ yesterday night?. Whatever the situation is we both talk fluent sarcasm. He sprung ‘Do you have sense or what, my life is breaking in to pieces’. Now I was sure he was high.What?, I did nt seem concerned.
Guru broke ‘ Laxmi is getting married’.She is happy about it. I could nt hold my laughter. ‘Common,that calls a reason to celebrate’. ‘Single again’, woohoo. I don’t know I did nt feel for him but I was happy from all my heart. Guru stood up: ‘I thought you will be soothing, shit you have your guy that’s why you are not even realising how aching it is’. Before he could step out,mom served him with coffee and he drunk it like water and left as soon as possible.
I switched the tele on, I didn’t care what was going around. Watched all the boring shows. My heart drifted slowly.Guru,Guru ,Guru his name echoed in my head a million times. I messed it up.I immediately took a shower gave him a call told ‘Sorry, I was just out of bed’ that’s why ,’Lets meet up the usual venue’.Waved mom ‘Bye’. She was totally confused, more than confusion I did nt have breakfast that bothered her much.The usual sweet caring mom. They are always the best.I told I will be back soon and explain you.
Guru was waiting in the cafe shop.As the movies depicted, he looked like the same heart-broken devdas kind-of guy.The stubble,drunk eyes,black shirt,uncombed hair, flip flops and depressing caller tunes.I thought what philosophy is this’. If your eventually having a break-up , next scene you should look dashing, that matters, attitude. Anyways he is of a single girl typo. I did nt want to blast at him and I am sure he will hit me , it was not my home even. So that was obvious. I tried to do the same as a friend pacify him.Guru told, ‘Please stop that, more than she left me, your pacifying me looks so damn artificial’.I know you are not good at it.That was it, I thanked him and spoke common things.
I am the type, who can never care much.Even if my close ones are sick,least I take them to hospital but I don’t keep on asking ‘Are you okay?’ a thousand times naah not even a single time.I am not a emotional glue.I even tend to forget to check on them.Bit boyish attitude. Thats how I am, But Guru understands.We know us and it needs no explanation.
Days, weeks, months flew by. Guru was getting depressed more and more.He was always mourning and I was so bored of him.I wanted the interesting chap back in my life, I was waiting for his comeback. We spent lot of time together, a lot more he was in need of it. I did not comfort him nor hurt him.But I was always around.That mattered.Sometimes he was spontaneous,sometimes he was lonely.Difficult to balance him indeed.
Even if Ram keeps me in a conversation longer he throws fire on me.He always wanted me, I know it was too much but this is Guru and I always loved the attachment.Guru realizes he shouldn’t but he couldn’t. Sometimes though I should not differentiate my heart always does.Ram wants me when he is in a relaxed free mode but for Guru its always me. Still now I never knew who I should love or who I should be friendly?.Its already fixed and I was not ready to go against it.
It was mid of June, Ram was on the phone. It was his study holidays, it was not the usual him.I was happy but he made me feel small instantly saying he badly wanted a break between his tedious study sessions and that was the reason behind his call.He is a nerd so whenever its his semester,interns, seminars, study holidays I will not exist to him. He says its distracting.Whatever it is it will be after his semester holidays only. That is the time space for you to speak.It was one strong reason why I did not connect well with him.
This time he was sounding bit flirtatious. Even after the insult, I felt okay.He spontaneously told, ‘I think I am liking you now too much these days’.Waah, That was it. I was happy, I didn’t utter a word after it.Though he didn’t propose me, ‘just liking’ it felt nice that too after three years. He told, ‘Take care, I will call you after my semesters are done’ and disconnected.
I was indeed happy but not joyous and over delighted.I could just get the feeling as if the semesters were postponed.Nothing much.I thought might be I did nt share with my close friends that’s why I was so dumb. I screened whom to call, with no doubts it was ‘Guru’.Guru was as always with his friends circle.He picked over and I tried to show my ecstasy. Ram told ‘He likes me’.Guru was happy as well.He told ‘So when are you going to treat me?, life is settled’.
Now I felt really good slipped :’waah treat, sure I feel like hugging you, I am bloody soo excited. I dont know what to do too’.
Guru was crazy always: ‘Only hug’
I told ‘I will kiss you even, am high
Sometimes words don’t take control,I felt the same. This was a better instance.I just told him, ‘Stop kidding’.I will tell Shravs and Tanvi and disconnected.
I felt bad how Guru will take it. I know he understands me even better than myselves, but still.I received a text message from Guru
Guru : When and Where will I have my kiss?:p
I just loved it that instant. Now I was confused whether it was the ‘kiss’ or ‘I like you’ which made me high and joyous.
Guru was so obsessed with the ‘hug and kiss’ stuff . He was pondering over it too much. I just left him a text, ‘tomorrow we will meet up’ and wrapped the conversation. I know Guru well, he was pulling my legs so I didn’t think much. Next day in the college Guru was looking at me too much. It was like his eyes were glued on my face. I loved it anyways. It was a different feel not shyness too but something beyond words.
He came in the lunch break and declared,’lets bunk’. I will take you for a spin.Before I could think he was already packing his stuffs and told ‘Lets leave’. I just followed him like a dog following his master. After few minutes, we were on the car.He told, ‘Don’t worry, its one of my friend’s.’
We didn’t speak much.He drove somewhere to nowhere. It was a country side. I even doubted whether there was human existence.He suddenly stopped, the place was haunted.He closed the windows of the cars which was the tinted ones. I can sense what was going around but still clueless. He looked deep in to my eyes, I did the same.He clutched my hand tighter.He moved on me.I could feel his breath.I did nt dare to move.My heart pounced faster. He was just centimetres away from my lips.It was so romantic.He slowly brushed his lips on mine and I reciprocated.It was sensual and passionate. He kissed me deeper and deeper and we were so lost in the kiss. He hugged me tightly and never let me move.I was his and he was mine. We owned each other in the kiss. The more he looked in to my eyes, more intimacy lingered.He kissed my cheeks , eyes and all over my face. Our lips were already wet now my face was even more. It was so lusty he was confused where to kiss still he made sure he brushed my lips in periods.He slowly bent down and kissed my neck.
That was it. I was back in my senses. I didn’t want to end up making out in car. I moved him aside but still he held me tighter. I was totally in clutches of him. Then I just pushed him off with all my possible strength.It was not even a make out session but still the way he messed me up was too much.My clothes, my kajal , my gloss was all out of pace.I just got outside the car.I wanted some space to breath.
Guru came out and handed me a bottle of water and a tissue. He sounded perfectly normal as if nothing had happened and we were taking a break from a study session. That pissed me off totally.I had tears in my eyes.I just felt like hitting him and moving away but I didn’t have any option rather than to reach home with him. I didn’t know any whereabouts of this place. So I decided it was not smart to make a fuss with him.We got in to the car, he pulled the windows down after all the deed is done.
Guru : Are you okay?
Nandita:’Was it all planned’?.